From my personal experience as shared in part 1 of this post, I would like to bring out a few salient points about hurts and the road to healing:
1. Admittance of hurts is the first step towards healing. For God to heal me, I had to admit to being hurt to Him verbally. And when I did, He wasn’t mad at me. God knows perfectly well how bruised I was emotionally then. Sweeping your hurts under the carpet doesn’t make it go away. Rather it makes it grow. If you have been hurt deeply, admit it. Tell God about it. He can take it, so just bring it on. If you are mad at your spouse because she/he cheated on you, spill it out before God. No matter how strong you are, if a razor blade cuts one of your fingers, you will feel it. So also, it is alright to admit to being hurt.
2. It takes God to experience lasting healing. The soul is inaccessible but not to God. So, if you want a thorough job with your emotional healing, let God handle it. Yes, I spoke to people about what my husband did, but only God could reach the depth of my soul and pull out the venom of the hurts I suffered. The truth is God understands your hurts much more than you can imagine. I don’t know how I would have been able to move past that season of pain in my life if the Holy Spirit hadn’t helped me to release the hurts to God. Today, I am so glad I did!
3. Sometimes you have to face it before you can bury it. I didn’t find dealing with the memories of the past hurts funny. In fact, I never wanted to remember because it was all too painful. But my healing process entailed the Holy Spirit excavating the hurts and pain where they were lodged. This process was painful but I had to go through it. It is just like when you have a thorn or chip of broken bottle lodged in your skin. To experience true relieve and prevent infection, it must be removed. This process becomes even more painful if the chip of bottle or thorn has been lodged for days. So, be prepared to face whatever the Holy Spirit confronts you with. Whatever He does, it is in your best interest.
4. God is working even when you are not aware of it. I have since discovered that God does His deepest and greatest works in silence. In the months that followed the period when I found myself weeping uncontrollably, it didn’t look like anything was happening in my soul. But the Holy Spirit was working. And when He was done I saw the beauty of what He had done.
5. Give God time. God is detailed. He sees what we don’t. So, if it looks like your healing is taking a long time, just hang in there and let God do a thorough job. I wish I didn’t have to deal with all the long process to forgiveness, letting go, receiving your healing etc. But then, life throws us thing’s we weren’t expecting. So, entrust your heart to God-broken and all and you will be glad you did!
6. The depth determines the length. Having your spouse walk out on you or your best friend forgetting birthday will both hurt you. You will however agree with me that the degree of pain caused by both events are different and as such will require different time frames to heal.
Depending on the type of hurts you are dealing with, you must be prepared to give it the time it takes. God loves to do a neat job, so you would do well to cooperate with Him.
7. Don’t use your emotions as a yardstick for what God has done. There are times I still remember some of the horrible things I had to put up with. And because they are not particularly pleasant, my emotions tend to react. But I keep telling myself that God has healed me and I remained healed. Don’t let your emotions run the show. Once you open up to God, choose to trust that He is carrying out His healing work on you even when you don’t feel like it.
Like I pointed out earlier, hurts are real. But I would also like to add that healing is possible and wholeness is achievable. So, whatever the hurt you are dealing with and who caused it, let it go. You have your whole life ahead of you, given you by God to enjoy and savour. Don’t let bitterness, anger and pain rob you of this privilege. Release the hurt. Embrace healing. Enjoy life!
…hurts are real, healing is possible & wholeness is achievable!